Whistling In The Dark
Edited By R Raj Rao And Dibyajyoti Sarma; Sage Publications;
Pages: 260; Price: Rs 375
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The newest addition to gay writing in India is a collection of 21 queer interviews. Both the editors are academics and writers based in Pune; both are open about their gay identity.
Most of the 20 gay men and one woman interviewed are from in and around Pune. There is fair representation in terms of age, socioeconomic background and ethnicity. The interviewees range from 20-something to the 60-plus. There is a renowned architect, a painter, an art historian, and a film studies scholar. There is a clerk who is also a masseur, an autorickshaw driver, and an undertrial who has served a prison sentence.
Apart from the Maharashtrian, Andhraite and north Indian, there is also the Iranian, Sri Lankan, American, Spanish, and Canadian. There is a gay couple who have been ‘married’ 15 years; an HIV positive man, another who is a prominent AIDS activist. The range is impressive; the voices authentic as the editors choose not to edit for the sake of propriety.
In his introductory essay, Raj Rao, professor of English at Pune University, and a gay icon of sorts, says homosexuality has become synonymous with AIDS over the last few years of AIDS propaganda. Gayness needs to be celebrated; it needs to be taken out of the context of disease and death, he says. Hence, these interviews to understand better what it means to be gay in India.
Men speak of their confusions in coming to terms with their sexual identity, the fear, guilt, self-stigma and self-hatred of growing up years. Many say they saw homosexuality as an aberration and sought all kinds of ‘cures’ ranging from pills to marriage.
Since homosexuality is a crime in India, gay men report being harassed, beaten and abused by the cops and local goons. Gay men say social biases and prejudices abound in every sphere – from jobs, to renting a house. There is the risk of becoming the butt of jokes. And yet, coming out is important to assert their identity. As one young man puts it: ‘A closet is not a pleasant place to be. No one stays for long in the closet.’
Hoshang Merchant, university teacher from Hyderabad who edited India’s first gay anthology a decade ago, says, ‘A gay has to work twice as hard to get where he’s got. But the first enemy, and usually the only enemy of anyone is one’s own self. I found that when I accepted myself, others accepted me.’
Men speak of pressures to get married and have children in a culture such as ours. This forces many gay men to lead double lives with their wives having no inkling of their ‘other’ self. This leads to added stress and guilt. Cross-class relationships are common. There is a constant fear of being deserted by partners. One says, ‘I have a great relationship but I know at some point he will leave me. I live like the yogi in the present moment.’ The HIV positive man is afraid of rejection and has not disclosed his status to his partner, though he ensures he practices safe sex.
Until as recently as 1990, World Health Organisation (WHO) listed homosexuality as a mental disorder. It has since been removed. The AIDS epidemic has brought a lot of attention to issues of homosexuality, though, of course, most gay men are not happy with the association. The AIDS activist interviewed here says interventions address physical health issues such as treating sexually transmitted diseases, but funding agencies do not seem to understand or care about mental health.
Many of the interviews were done in a ‘sting operation’ style with interviewees unaware of how the information would be used. Some may have ethical issues with this method of research. Names have been changed to protect identity, except where the interviewees are open about their gay identity. Editors choose authenticity of voice over form, which means that the interviews go unedited. This sometimes makes them long winding and repetitive, with evidently irrelevant, sometimes voyeuristic details.
Rao and Sarma’s work is an invaluable addition to resource on gay issues in India. Though this isn’t really a literary work, some of the interviews have interesting lines. My favourite is Hoshang Merchant: ‘I’m too much of a perfectionist to share my life with imperfect people’. The best, also from Merchant: ‘The Sufis say – “Life is given for a moment with a friend”. It is not for how long, but how deeply you have known love.’
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Whistling In The Dark 
